Hello and welcome back to another Keystone weekly wellness blog!
This week, we will be discussing and defining empathy and sympathy. For those that aren’t quite aware of the definition of either, sometimes people mistake them for being the same thing — Surprise…they are not! Empathy is more than just a new buzzword, it is a life game-changer that really redefines how we interact with one another and the world as a whole. By understanding its significance and exploring ways we can practically apply it to our everyday lives, we can unlock the power of promoting understanding, building strong relationships, and overall contributing to a more connected and compassionate world!
Let’s go over some examples of empathy and sympathy to explore the important difference…
What is Empathy?
Active Listening — Understanding Perspectives — Emotional “Resonance” — Helping without Overstepping — Being a Supportive Presence
What is Sympathy?
Giving Unasked Advice — Passing Judgement — Ignoring your Own Emotions — Only Noticing the Surface-Level Issues
Empathy fuels connection, while sympathy drives disconnection (Dr. Brené Brown, 2013 ).
Let’s look at some examples:
Let’s say your friend is going through a difficult time with school, struggling to feel motivated, not doing their best on assignments…we’ve all been there!
A sympathetic response to this may sound like: “Oh, that sucks! I’m sorry. Maybe you should try studying harder or get a tutor?” Although you’re trying to be helpful and solve the issue, you are not properly acknowledging how the person is feeling or looking for a deeper understanding.
An empathetic response to this may sound like: “I can imagine how hard it is to stay motivated, especially when things are overwhelming. It sounds like you’re going through a hard time. If you want, I’m here to talk and support you through this.”
BIG difference right? In the empathetic response you’re validating and connecting to their emotions, while offering your support and non-judgmental presence if they feel that’s what they need!
So what is some advice to shift your response from sympathetic to empathetic?
Gather Information: Make sure you know enough about the situation…
– “Would/could you tell me a little more?”
– “Can you tell me what you feel you need right now?”
– “Is there anything else you’d like to share?”
– “Would you like some help in figuring this out?”
Clarify Understanding: Reflect back what you think you’ve heard…
– “Let me see if I have this right…”
– “I want to make sure I understand what you’re telling me.”
– “What I’m hearing is…”
– “What I hear you saying is… Is that right?”
Model Listening: Show you’re listening and paying attention to body language…
– “It sounds to me like this might feel…”
– “I can see that you’re feeling (emotion)…”
– “I can hear how (emotion) you’re feeling…”
– “I can hear in your voice that…”
Affirm (Validate) Feelings: Acknowledge vulnerability and affirm feelings aren’t right or wrong…
– “Thank you for sharing this with me.”
– “I understand why you feel that way.”
– “That sounds like a difficult experience.”
– “I hear you.”
– “I’m with you.”
– “I’m not sure what to say, but I’m here to listen.”
So while sympathy expresses concern and possibly offers solutions, empathy goes a step further by helping you see things from another’s perspective and connect to them emotionally. In situations where a family member or friend is struggling, an empathetic response helps to make them feel like they are heard, they are not alone and they have someone to lean on. Empathy makes the world a better place by helping us all understand and connect with one another; when we all practice it, the world becomes a safer, more supportive community where everyone is looking out for each other.
Embrace your empathy! Strive to be an active listener, and to recognize and validate the emotions of those around you!
“Empathy heals another at exactly the same time it is healing me.”
